Slightly Miffed

I'm kind of miffed. I say kind of because I've had a few hours to calm down. If I would have written this yesterday around 5 pm, I would have said that I'm highly miffed, but time has a way of soothing my anger.

All elementary schools, it seems, have an end of the year field day and yesterday was Conner's. I knew that this was happening, but in the rush of the morning I forgot to remind him to pack sun screen.

He's knows how easily he burns in the intensity of Florida's sun, so he asked the powers that be at his elementary school if he could have some sun-screen. Here's the kicker that really made me upset. The response of the school was..."it's against school district policy for us to give you any sun screen." So they made him go outside all day with no protection whatsoever. When he came home, he was red like a lobster, suffering from a horrific headache, and feeling like he was going to throw up.

Now, in my opinion, this is negligence to the highest degree. I believe that Tracy and I are 100% responsible for our children's well being, but I also believe that when we drop them off at school we should be able to do so with a degree of confidence knowing that they are concerned for my children's well being while under their care. I guess, however, that this is not the case, and the school board is more worried about a possible law suit than they are with the safety of my kids.

When a society or organization starts to allow insurance companies and legal paranoia to dictate their policies, they lose their effectiveness across the board. I've even heard of churches who have fallen prey to this and have put the brakes on in reaching out to their community or to individuals because insurance companies told them not to, or because their boards are afraid of getting sued. Perhaps I'm being incredibly naive, but I just don't think this should be.

Companies have to weigh their decisions, they would be downright foolish if they didn't. However, the weight of their decisions must be made against the integrity of their core-values, not against the paranoia of someone sitting in a corporate office. When we don't lead according to our values, the people for whom those values have been written are the ones who suffer.

The School Board of Manatee County may say they value children, but their actions yesterday prove otherwise.

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A Hearing Ear

I'm currently re-reading a book called "Summoned to Lead", by Leonard Sweet. It's not your typical leadership book that is packed full of facts about what makes a person a better leader. It is much more fluid than that, and it challenges me to see past the facts of leadership and see into the art of it instead.

His emphasis on being a person who has a tuned ear to hear over a person who has a keen eye to see is really touching something deep inside me, and I'm beginning to realize how important this is.

Think about it, what is more crucial to our lives, the ability to see or the ability to hear? The eyes are easily deceived in so many ways. Magicians are passionately involved in slight of hand, the ability to fool the eyes. People have learned and mastered the art of "pulling the wool over the eyes" and constructing a false reality that they want others to see while hiding who they truly are.

The ears on the other hand aren't as easily fooled. When you truly learn the art of hearing, you can easily hear past the walls that people construct out of insecurity and such. Perhaps this is why Jesus said over and over, "He who has ear to hear, let him hear."

Here's a good practice for all of us from time to time in training our ears to hear...the next time your at the beach, the mall, church, wherever (just don't do it while your driving), shut your eyes and just hear. Hear the sounds all around you, the chatter, the low noises, the high frequencies, the humming of lights, the joy, the pain, the laughter and the crying. Concentrate on how it effects the way you see once you reopen your eyes.

Practicing the art of hearing would make us much better builders of the kingdom of God. We tend to get blinded by all that we see in the world around us, and often this makes us cold towards the very people we are called to reach. Being able to hear past what we see, will make us much more effective in seeing lives totally transformed for Christ.

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Forgotten on the Gridiron?

Have you ever felt like God has forgotten you? Honestly, I've been struggling with this for the past few months. Not in the way that I feel separated from Him, but more like a quarterback who was once first string but now is only holding the ball for the occasional field goal.

This feeling has caused me to go deep and ask God a lot of questions. Like always, he's coming through and I'm beginning to realize some encouraging things about how he desires for me to live.

True living, true leadership is a function of voice, not of position. If I am to be the quarterback of a great team, winning comes when I find and use my voice (the true core and integrity of who I am), not when I attain a position. If I'm to be the ball holder, I'm to use my voice to be the best ball holder for the team. If I'm sidelined, I'm not to sit on the bench and sulk, but rather I'm to stand at the edge of the gridiron and use my voice to cheer on those who are playing hard in the arena of life.

I'm learning that leadership is not about where you are on the organizational chart of life, but about having the courage to use your God given voice, that irreplaceable, unrepeatable, one of a kind voice to make the place your in, the best for him.

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Choose Your Response

"...True leadership, is always about struggle. It is about two things: One, having values, and two, being willing to fight for hose values. If you want to be a leader you must have values, a set of beliefs, convictions, and ideals - a vision for your country, you community and your business. You must be willing to step into the arena and fight for those values, for that "worthy cause." ~Benjamin Nitanyahu~

What a powerful quote for us to remember. I think another thing that sets a person apart as a leader is not only the ongoing struggle of fighting for your values, but the on going need to keep from getting discouraged and wounded in the process.

Discouragement and hurt looms around every corner of our lives. We all feel it and we all let us effect us in one way or another. The difference in those great leaders that seem to be unaffected by it, lies in their ability to choose their response. A person chooses to let discouragement go too far, chooses to become wounded and taken out of the fight. God has given all of us the ability to choose our responses in life.

How does a person choose the right response?

First, they must have a deep and unshaken conviction of what his/her values are in life. What is most important to them that they are determined to fight for. I think a lot of people give up too easy and it's probably because they didn't believe enough in what they were fighting for.

Second, they must have the courage to defend those values to the point of no return. I have often said that the greatest enemy to what God desires to do through a person's life is the desire for self-preservation.

Third, when all is said and done, their attitude towards people, and especially those people who opposed them must remain hopeful and forgiving. The values that a true leader has goes beyond themselves and bleeds over to the people around them...even to those who mis-understood them and were the cause of some of their persecution.

History is full of people who modeled this type of attitude. In fact, this past weekend we celebrated the death and resurrection of someone who modeled it like none other...Jesus Christ. He is the true model of vision, values, and leadership that we, as believers, should strive to be like every day.

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The Craving to Be Valued

I believe that one of the greatest desires of every man, woman, and child is a deep craving to be valued in life. There is no greater motivator when value is applied to a person's life and there is no greater discouragement when a person doesn't feel it.

Think about this; in the scope of all our human interaction, i.e., marriages, friendships, work, play, etc., when does a person feel most alive? When your point is being heard? When your ideas are being used? When you're given even a tiny amount of recognition for a job well done? I would say that all those things make a person feel alive.

I also believe that one of the greatest leadership skills a person can possess is the ability to bring that value out in other people. I have come to realize a few things that I think are important in helping us give that value to others.

First, invite people into the arena of life. What I mean by that is invite them into your world, your decisions, to be a part of your team. Most of us, unless you were a super jock, remembers what it is like to be picked last for a team during gym class or recess. Do you remember how it made you feel? Invitation is such a powerful tool in bringing out the value in others.

Second, include people. There is not a greater degree of humiliation when you are invited to a team only to be told to ride the bench. We tell people to ride the bench when we don't allow their opinions to be voiced and we don't include them in the overall process.

Lastly, empower people. When you empower a person on the team, you give them ownership. When a person feels ownership, they experience the highest degree of value that life has to offer. When ownership is taken and realized, not only does it bring a high value to the person, it brings security and safety to the entire team as well as a level of loyalty that can't be outdone.

When you value people, you make winners out of those around you; your kids, your spouse, your friends, your employees, etc. And here is the kicker...Because people crave value so deeply, when a person doesn't do all they can to bring value to those around them, they [people] will go and find someone who will.

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Messy Ministry

What is it like to walk in the shoes of another? I think that is a question that we all should ask ourselves on a continual basis. But perhaps instead of simply asking the question, it would be more beneficial to actually put ourselves in those shoes from time to time.

Think about this, how would a "normal" person's perspective change if they spent a week in a wheel chair, or wearing ear plugs, or a blind fold? Would it change the way we minister to people and especially those who get swept by the wayside because we don't take the time to think with hearts of empathy?

The Apostle Paul sums up this attitude best in Philippians 2:3&4 when he says, "...but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."

I'll be honest with you, I don't take enough time to think about the needs of those around me. I tend to get wrapped up in the glamour of doing ministry, forgetting that God never intended for ministry to be glamorous. The opposite, in fact is true... ministry, at it's core, is meant to be dirty, messy, and self effacing.

This week in my personal time, I've decided to journey through the final week of Jesus before his crucifixion. It's starts in a very glamorous way with the triumphal entry, but it certainly doesn't end that way. Christ's final week shows us how un-glamorous ministry is and it's only when we embrace it as such, that it truly becomes redemptive in nature.

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Don't Settle for "NO"!

I took the day off yesterday and went to the beach with my family. We had an awesome day.

One of the highlights was me trying to ride my son's skim board. For those of you who don't know what a skim board is, it's kind of like a surf board, but instead of riding a wave into shore, your riding on about an inch of water where the wave meets the shore line. It's a lot of fun if you know what your doing. If you don't however, you end up feeling like I do this morning...sore...very sore.

I'm not sore because my muscles ache, I'm sore because when I do something like this, I go all out, in other words I throw caution to the wind, and in doing so, gravity throws me to the ground. I successfully rode the things twice, but at the end of each run I found myself eating lots of sand, and I've got the bruises to show for it.

After my skim board experience, I limped back to my chair and continued with one of my favorite rituals when I go to the beach...reading. I started a new book called, "Pour Your Heart Into It," (How Starbucks Built a Company One Cup at a Time). The book is written by Howard Shultz, who was personally responsible for taking that company to the success it now enjoys.

Howard Shultz talks about his experience in coming to work for Starbucks, which was just a small company of 5 stores upon his arrival. The courtship took place over a period of a year, and at the end of the year, Howard approached the head of the company, Jerry Baldwin, about hiring him. It took him another year to convince him that it was the right move.

At the end of that year, Howard had a sit down dinner interview with the three deciding partners of the company. He thought he had convinced them to hire him, but the next day he received a big "NO". He was devastated, but decided that "NO" wasn't the answer he would accept, so the next day he called Jerry back and told him he thought he was making a big mistake, and that he needed to have courage to convince his partners it was the right move. Jerry agreed, hired Howard Shultz, and the rest is history.

As I think about this story, I can't help but wonder how many people give up on their dreams because someone tells them "NO". I understand that there are times when "NO" is the answer and we need to accept that, but I also realize that "NO" is sometimes a result of someone else's uncertainty or insecurity. They are afraid to risk, afraid to fail, or even afraid they'll lose control.

Success comes from being able to discern the two and knowing when it is appropriate to push the envelope and not take "NO" for an answer. It takes guts, courage, and plenty of self-effacement, but in the end it could pay off big.

Think about the many people who wouldn't take no for an answer...

- Christopher Columbus, who was fighting conventional thought that the world was flat and he would certainly perish, wouldn't take "NO" for an answer.

- Martin Luther King Jr. was told "NO" over and over and over, but wouldn't accept it even to the point of losing his own life.

Pastor Steven Furtick is a church planter in North Carolina whose church has grown from a small handful of people to over 1600 in the past 2 years says this about being told you can't do it...

"Don’t you think every mammoth concept was downright laughable until it was a reality? Inherent in any vision that has the possibility of really taking off is the possibility of really tanking, right? Do you even think that maybe if people aren’t laughing at your ideas, you aren’t dreaming big enough?

George Bernard Shaw once said, "Some men see things as they are and say "why?" I see things that never were, and say "Why not?"

May God give me the wisdom to look at my situation and say "why not?", and not settle for the inferior answer of "NO."

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This past weekend we took our family to the John and Mable Ringling Museum. What a great place to spend a Saturday afternoon. I love places like this, because of the stories that are looming around every corner. I wonder what it was like when they lived there, what they were thinking, were they happy and fulfilled.

There were a number of different things that were going through my head as I was making my journey through their estate, here are a few of them...

1. True vision lives beyond the person. John Ringling was a visionary in the truest sense of the word. Much of Sarasota, being what it is today, can be attributed to him. His ability to see a positive future left an indelible mark that the world still sees.

2. It's amazing what money can buy, and what it can't. It's interesting when you walk through his estate and see the lavish lifestyle he and his wife lived. There's meaning behind every design, brush stroke, and piece of art. Having money makes a person think differently than others.

Money, on the other hand, can't sustain you. When the great depression hit, it hit the Ringling's as hard as anyone, and seemed to dry up their dreams and hopes. By the end of the depression, both John and Mable had died and the halls of their estate sat empty.

3. John Ringling liked naked statues and paintings...lots of them.

4. My son thinks naked statues and paintings are extremely funny.

5. The Ringling Bro. Circus was the greatest show on earth. When you look at what it took to pull the circus off and the time, money, and leadership put into it, one can learn some incredible principles about what it takes to be successful.

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Motorcycle Diaries

WOW!!! What a great weekend. Our Motorcycle trip to Key West, Fl was incredible. We rode almost 700 miles in two days. It was a lot of fun, but I must admit I'm dragging this morning. I'm sure it's a combination of the ride and losing an hour this weekend.

Like any life experience, I learned a few things on the trip and I want to share with you, so here they are...

1. It's possible to get stung by a bee going 75 MPH.

2. When you ride 375 miles in one day, camping out and sleeping on the hard ground is not recommended.

3. When working to reach your goals, don't forget to look around and enjoy the journey.

4. Two is better than one, three is better than two, and community is better than riding solo.

The last point is one that really hit me. I believe we are designed by God to be in community. It's a basic craving inside all of us.

If you think about it, things simply work better in community. On our trip, we all looked out for one another, protected each others back, and we were all safer in the long run because of our togetherness.

I loved the alone time I had when I was riding down the road, but I don't think I would ever want to make that trip by myself. It simply would not have been the same, because two is better than one, three is better than two, and community is better than riding solo.

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Spring Training

Baseball season is once again upon us, and now that I live in Florida, I can't wait to go to the Phillies spring training camp. My parents are coming for a visit next week and I plan on taking my dad to a game or two.

My father and I have always had an affinity for the Phillies. I'm not sure why, because year after year they seem to let us down. They are a team that is filled with talent, but just can't seem to pull it together. Well, maybe this year will be better for them.

Speaking of baseball, I was reading recently that Ty Cobb had a life time batting average of .367. This is a great accomplishment if your a baseball player, but think about it for a moment, a .367 average means that he failed at bat more than he succeeded.

I think it says a lot about how we are to view failure and success. I think too often we view success as getting a hit every time we come to the plate of life, and when it doesn't happen we get upset and stop trying.

If you look at history, however, you'll see that the greatest achievers are the ones who didn't look at life in this way, but looked at success as a journey. Often their journey's were filled with more failures than successes. So what was it that made them successful? They had a way of seeing every failure as part of the road that led them to the ultimate victory in life.

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The Curse of Knowledge

I really enjoy reading all different kinds of books. Self help books are not on the top of my favorite lists, but every now and again I find a jewel of one that I just can't put down.

One such book that I am reading now is "Made to Stick," by Chip & Dan Heath. It's a book about communication and what makes some of our ideas sticky and others dull.

In the introduction they highlighted something that I just haven't been able to stop thinking about. They wrote about a study done at Stanford in the early 90's called "tappers and listeners."

In short, people were placed in one of these two groups (tappers and listeners). The tappers were given 25 well known songs; i.e. Happy Birthday, The Star Spangled Banner, etc., and were told to tap them out on the table. The listeners job was to guess what the song was based on the rhythm.

I found the results to be very interesting. Of 120 songs tapped, only 2.5 percent were guessed. The tappers, however, predicted that 50% of the songs would be guessed and became frustrated when they weren't, and furthermore the tappers couldn't understand why the listeners were being so "dense."

The conclusion...the tappers were tainted by the knowledge they had (the song title) which made it nearly impossible to imagine what it was like to lack that knowledge.

The authors call this the "Curse of Knowledge" and in essence it says that the more knowledge a person has, the greater chance of becoming irrelevant to those who don't possess the same knowledge.

I think as Christians it's easy to fall into the "Curse of Knowledge" when it comes to sharing our faith with others. I have often found myself thinking and saying...why don't they get it, it's so simple. But it's simple for me because this is all I've ever known...in fact, I have no clue what it's like to be in their shoes, which puts me at a major disadvantage.

So, my question to all of us is this...how do we rise above this "Curse of Knowledge" to be relevant to world around us?

Go to my website at http://ethoughts.tv and leave a comment.

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What Do You Fear?

I have this memory from childhood that has been permanently etched on my brain. It includes a bicycle, a huge dog, and one very scared kid (me).

Here's how it happened...My sister and I were going for a long bike ride around the block (we lived in the country and so our block was about 5 miles long). As we were riding a very big German Shepherd came charging at us.

He was a vicious dog, teeth as long and sharp as framing nails and dog spit flying everywhere when he barked. As you can imagine, I was scared out of my mind.

That dog never bit me or my sister, however he did keep us cornered for what seemed like an hour, although I'm sure it was only 2 or 3 minutes (it's these kind of memories that makes me think God has a slow motion button).

I remember someone telling me that the reason that dog kept us cornered is because he could sense our fear and used it to get the upper hand (or paw for that matter) on us. Now, I'm no dog expert and frankly I'm not sure if this is true, but the theory does lend itself to a great life lesson.

Here's the lesson...what you fear in life will determine how free you are, because fear is what establishes the boundaries of your freedom.

When that big dog had me cornered and I was scared out of my mind, my free space was limited to about 2 square feet.

This is why God doesn't want us to fear anything in life but Him. When we fear God, He, in his love and grace, doesn't control us, but sets us free to really live.

Erwin McManus, in his book "the Barbarian Way" says, "When we fear God and God only, we are no longer bound by all of the other fears that would hold us captive...we discover that perfect love casts out all fear. Not even God will hold us or control us by fear. When we fear Him, we in essence begin to live a life where we are fearless."

What is your deepest fear, and how is it keeping you from the freedom that Christ intends for you?



ethoughts blog page

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Consider Both Sides

http://stephenwulfsblog.blogspot.com

Making decisions is such an important part of life and leadership, and the best decisions are made when you evaluate a situation from both sides of the fence. In other words, get all the facts, information, and opinions and let them weigh in on the process.

Like all of us, I've had to make a great many decisions in my life. Some of them I chose wisely and some of them I chose poorly. In all of them however, there was always more room for seeing things from both sides. Even when I have to make a decision that I know I'm right on, evaluation always helps in the diplomacy of the matter.

A number of years ago, I wrote a poem/fable that demonstrates this leadership concept. I hope you enjoy it.


The Gnat and Farmer Jit

Old farmer jit worked as hard
as any man I know;
with his hand to the plow and the sun beating down
in his fields he did sow.

When the sun would rest in its bed in the west
and his work was done for the day;
old farmer Jit would head for his house
on the bluff overlooking the bay.

On the porch with joy and pleasure he sits
his face wide with grin;
'how could life get any better' he thought
as he sipped his tea from it's tin.

Then with such noise and such clatter
his peace and tranquility went nill;
his friends bid him 'what's the matter?'
for his face bore a look that could kill.

His serenity that night was interupted
by a little insignificant gnat;
who perched up on the back of his neck
to have a little snack.

The farmer smacked and swatted away
trying to kill the little flea;
but the gnat jumped around when Jit's hand came down
only adding to his misery.

If you're like me you're saying aloud
'I hope that bug gets his due!;'
but just to be fair let's listen to him
for he has a story too.

Like farmer Jit, the little gnat
toiled and worked hard all day;
looking for some food to eat
and some to store away.

He tried a cow out in the field
his hide unable to stick;
He tried to feast on a little lamb
his flax was way to thick.

He searched and looked all over the place
some food he could not find;
So the gnat sat down and gave up hope
knowing he would soon be out of time.

Resting quietly he closed his eyes
anticipating his final breath;
When in the breeze came a scent of life
giving him strenght ore his iminent death.

With every muster of courage and will
he rose and cleared his mind;
with his wings buzzing, he took off flying
this source of life he must find.

When he rounded the corner to his suprise
you can guess what he did see;
Old farmer Jit rocking in his chair
enjoying life so happily.

He swarmed around old Jit's head
to get a better look;
and then he spotted and acre of flesh
and he knew that he'd been hooked.

He set himself down so carefully
and staked himself a claim;
and with great force he struck Jit's neck
causing him such terrible great pain.

So the old man would smack, the flee would stick
and this went on all night;
both were battling each other
for both thought they were right.

My question I have for us
is one as simple as this;
which one do you think is right?
the gnat or farmer Jit?

In my humble opinion,
they are both right I say
for we all see life through different eyes
some light, some dark, some gray.

So as you read this fable
of meter and of rhyme;
I hope that you'll remember
to consider both sides next time.

~ Stephen Wulf ~ (3/2/1999)

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